My Illustrative Life

I aquired this advert page (got my sister to rip it out of a magazine (she was in the corner, I was in view) in a cafe) last weekend. And not for the reason you may suspect! Compared to my beloved this dude is weaksauce. Not to disparage his objective attractiveness..

I think that the current ad campaign for Gaultier’s Le Male (and whatever the girly version is called) is pretty much super-great. Because it’s a male/female pair, and both versions are almost exactly the same. They’re both soft, but not too soft. Both a little bit fetish-y; the corset for the lady, the sailor outfit for the guy (I love his little hat!). Mimifroufrou.com says

The advertising plays on the ambiguity of a masculine image that is appealing to the gay community for its Querelle de Brest reference but is shown in the TV commercial to be heterosexual.

I don’t know if that’s the intention or the precise direction of the direction (I can certainly believe it) but I do know that I enjoy the heck out of it. This “appealing to the gay community” isn’t just doing that - it’s appealing to the me community.

I don’t want to see ‘traditional’ manly man men man in adverts. They’re boring; I’ve seen them since forever. They don’t interest me because I like balance.. and that applies to all areas.

I like to see trad-masculine balanced with trad-feminine. Why does Hokuto No Ken appeal to my heart so well? Because it’s about uberdudes whose hearts are crying even as they tear off heads. Why do I like to read Being Manly? Because it’s about ‘manliness and masculinities’ (emphasis masculinities) approached in a gender-inclusive, polite way that makes me (a lady!) feel welcomed, and talks about gender relations and gender roles in a positive way. Why do I like to wear Dr Martens and a heavy leather coat on my wide shoulders and army surplus(/inspired) hats? Because I really like to wear pink skirts! Why did I make Laurence Llewellyn Bowen my style icon (and nickname, though I didn’t make that happen, so much) in sixth form?

Because I was at an all-girls school and most of my friends were vocally into lipgloss and high heels. Why do I love the Runaways so hard? Because they were girls who wore girl clothes and who were assertive and who weren’t ladylike and sang about screwing and drinking. I did a whole great long poorly formatted post early on in this blog’s life about my enjoyment of Jean Claude Van Damme movies due to the, perhaps, “masculine femininity” or “feminine masculinity” of the majority of them. Why do I stare so hard and long at my beloved’s Disney-princess eyelashes (other than the whole “I love him” thing)?

For the same reason as why I think these two adverts are the bees knees. Because they’re not so flippin’ gender binary as most of what gets thrown in my face in the everyday.

It’s some kind of mad dream to see a “I just had sex with a lady” gent doing anything other than thinking “I am SO AMAZINGLY THE BEST because getting ladies means you WIN”. It is some kind of madder dream to see a post lady-sex guy doing semi-submissiv, emotion-based flexing about in tight pants and trousers, putting on a little hat (for his own enjoyment!). I’ve got no idea what these scents smell like, but I am fully pro-them.

You see? Advertsising CAN make me want to buy things! It just usually does the opposite.

They ain’t perfect. She could have a smirk after smelling the pillow too. But that? Is a pretty small complaint, considering.

Consequences Creed

Consequences Creed has great hair, especially for a professional wrestler. His body has an unusual chunkiness that looks dependable - I’m not worried for his health, or for the crowd of his opponent - and non-monstrous; he’s not scary thin or scary ‘roidy, he’s not super Hollywood-guy ripped but he looks like he is strong (especially in the thighs!). His costume doesn’t have too many elements to it, but it does have enough, and it makes me think of Wonder Woman a little. He doesn’t look nude like the guys who wrestle in pants, and the short shorts are sporty. I dislike watching matches where people are wearing those long spandexy leggings, because I think about them riding low in the crotch and feel sympathy irritation. The colours of his getup complement his skin tones. He springs about and is cheerful. This is a good wrestler image.

Awesome Kong

I am not impressed with the fact that Awesome Kong’s bodice didn’t fit her boobs properly when I was watching TNA semi-regularly. “Get her a tailor, management!” I shouted. But it looks like they did! I dog the Xena look, and I dig that she is FIERCE not a fuckdoll. She pulls great faces and tends to ignore the crowd, I think. She also has cool hair, and I like how she lets it fly about all over. I like her little wrestler boots! Her NAME is AWESOME. And she really, really does make good faces. Good wrestler image.

Sting

Gothy wrestlers (there are more than you’d think, unless you are a big ole wrestling fan) are some of the funniest things, in my opinion. But I like Sting! He is old, for one thing. Kind of. He has a neat gimmick (the lights go out. They come on.. AND THERE IS STING!!!!!!), and he reminds me of the Misfits I like Vampiro by default. I like that he paints his face, all spooooky and that he used to wear pink leggings with bleached hair. I very much enjoy that he had (has?) a major beef (or whatever wrasslin’ calls it, I forget) with Kurt Angle, who I find one of the most boring Entertainment Superstars around. Sting threatens to bite fingers off! He believes in respect, hence troubles with Angle. I dislike his coats, because great big muscular types need careful tailoring and better fabric and better, non-hideous stadium lighting to look purposeful in structured-flowing garments in my opinion. But I respect that he wears it! Good wrestler image!

Samoa Joe

I liked Samoa Joe because.. OK, I liked Samoa Joe because he had a slight rockabilly bent but mainly because his name had “Samoa” in and one of my favourite moments of Dog the Bounty Hunter is Tim yelling “MY WIFE IS SA-MOAN!“. But! Then I didn’t watch TNA (the only wrestling we get on our TV, which is good, because it is my favourite) for a while. When I came back, Joe had a sleeveless Hokuto leather jacket! And (I think?) different facial “tattoos”! And he went around doing peoples’ bidding, like he had been to the future and come back a badass brainwashed cyborg. Duh, obviously I like that. GOOD WRESTLER IMAGE.

Best of all: Booker T

He has a couple of namesakes to choose from. The musician, seen above, and the political leader Booker T (who you should read about). He wears pants, with massive great boots and sometimes T-shirts, which makes him look so nude that I am simply amused rather than squemish. His use of colour in his gear is skillful He also makes great faces, and pretty evidently has a sense of humour that I enjoy. He uses GOLD and CROWN MOTIFS in his ring-wear. He involves his wife! he wears his hair in a ‘princess ponytail’ sometimes, and his boots look like platforms half the time. I just froze the first video here on a frame that shows him jumping reeeally high, which I admire. He also also has massive thighs, which would alarm me in real life but just make me go wow, really?? when watching on teevee. And he just looks like a “nice man”, silly and subjective as that is.

My beloved adds, Booker T is cool about racism because he called Hulk Hogan NIGGA when he got carried away and then laughed and his wife patted his shoulder! She just pats him and stifles her mirth!

 
“A definite challenge there from Harlem Heat~”

Best wrestler image.

Aw, shit, wiki just told me he’s TNA No More. Shucks.

Why do I take this post to get all this opining (is this the correct word?) out? Partly out of frank enjoyment. Partly out of an inclination to let people know about stuff they might not know. And partly because I want to do my part, if possible, in making sure that we never, ever return to the days of..

“Wrestler hair”

That is exactly what “wrestler hair” looks like. Youtube, for example, Royal Rumble 1992. Or I could do it for you! Jake the Snake is a marginal offender, but watch for Sid.

He was NOT ALONE IN THIS.

Bad wrestler image

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New Marple!

News from the Agatha Christie Official Site blog: The Blue Geranium is currently being filmed for tv! Excellent. Marple, as you may have guessed, is in my soul. And I rather like the particular theme of this story - some authors fail and just become snotty or preachy when they and their characters take the “magic seems to be real OH WAIT of course it isn’t, that’s ridiculous! Here’s why” route. But Agatha (Ms Christie, I beg your pardon).. she knew her stuff. She manages to avoid putting the focus of the entire story upon the spooks-or-not reveal like an amazon on a stiletto; it’s what happens that matters, not how.

Midsomer Murders (the TV series) does the same issue with marvelous panache, incidentally. I really dig that show.

In celebration of this news, I want to share this link: The The Blue Geranium episode of Agatha Christie’s Great Detectives Marple and Poirot, one of my favourite faaavourite shows. “Great Detectives” is a Japanese show, animated, and believe me I have tried to get DVDs (ones I can watch, even). I’m gonna keep trying! It’s one of the most comfortable shows I know, and I would really, really like to be able to express this to the creators, animators, and all companies involved in its production via monetary exchange. It is such a bane that British Animation is in the dumps, because it means a lot of the shows that make my heart sing aren’t available in Region 2. Venture Bros Season 1 took how long to get here? TOO BLOODY LONG.

Great Detectives has its faults. Miss Lemon is way too young, and Hastings doesn’t bluster quite enough. Poirot is not as irritable as he is in my head (David Suchet, he is perfect) and Miss M doesn’t have quite the bite I feel she should. But I find ‘Maybelle’ perfectly charming: she’s a sixteen or seventeen year old original character, the daughter of Raymond West (mother has no presence; I presume her dead) who takes a job as Poirot’s junior assistant and thereby ties the two detectives’ stories together. They never meet.

I very much enjoy how the opening sequence makes Maybelle’s story. Give it a watch, I think you’ll see what I mean.

And here’s a link I’ll be adding to posts for a while: Craft Hope for Haiti, an etsy store that donates proceeds to Doctors without Borders.

When I was in bed last night, it occurred to me that “Dinkley” is a rather better euphemism for a penis than for an actual sex act. So please adjust that title, in your head. Thank you!

,p>Recently I’ve been working on some possibly secret drawings for the Big Finish over at BSB’s current positivity-focused season. Related to those, though, is this: something a little more personal but nevertheless an important sentiment to share I think.

So, please enjoy! Be your skin dodgy or as smooth and consistent as the quality of.. humm.. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex.

Inks on Tate Britain sketchbook card-paper. I really should learn more about what I draw on.

Once I went to a fancy dress party as Velma, and two different people asked if my hair was a wig. It was just my hair! I felt pretty proud, about that.

A thing that has yet to be publically “proven” yet remains a fact is that I am a lady. On account of this having always been the biological case and my having on the whole pretty average genes sans interesting mutations, I cannot grow a beard or any kickass sideburns. This makes me a little sad, but I have found ways to compensate. Also of course, it means I never have to shave, so I feel that the scales remain balanced.

Half the reason I love this Anthony Peto hat is that it flattens the earpuffs of my hair into sideburny face-clingers. As seen here, this allows me to spiritually bump fists with some of my favourite stylish fictional characters. Let’s give it up for Wolverine, The Cap’n and old Wooden Sword*! And Anthony Peto. ‘Preciate it, fella!

*Characters belong to Marvel, World Leaders Entertainment (I think? Publick and Hammer, anyway) and Hiroyuki Takei, NOT ME!

Because today I’ve been learning, learning how to draw your steen-keen Doc-tar..

PLEASE NOTE I am drawing the character not the actor; I am not filled with hate towards these men and, should they be watching, they should not feel bad. Okay? Okay.

Learning! Yeah! It’s healthy!

I’m sorry David Tennant, Matt Smith, it’s not personal.

Call me, Panini!

Finished off my Christmas Shopping (in the COLD; two vests, a slip, bloomers, tights, a dress, full wool sweater, still shivered); got home to a fine spot of Ironside. It is SO well-directed, honestly! Those sets. That placing of actors within scenes! Keep checking my Tumblr, if you’re interested, I’ve a bunch of stills to add. And who should I see this time, looking out from the box? I said, “Bruce??”. And do you know, it was.

Just after he finished Green Hornet, I guess, ‘67. Doesn’t he look young? (And no, alas - it is said his character “teaches karate”, which is later replaced with aikido and judo without note. Sigh. Blame it on the characters?)

Anyway, here I am today.. With some snow.

Boots: Dr Martens, obv

Tights: H&M (”yellowish pink”)

Dress: Baby, the Stars Shine Bright (second-hand)

Jumper: Jaeger (gift)

Hat: RSPB’s Capercaillie Tartan

I just joined tumblr (click any picture) to post a sheaf of stills from the episode of Ironside I watched this morning; it’s all good stuff. The episode itself was a bit of a bummer. Backstreet abortions may have been unsafe, and some of the people performing them may have been mercenary and unqualified, but the fact remains that abortion is a necessary option for a person and the illegality of their availability was what drove women and girls to go to these unsafe operators. Legal abortions means safe abortions. Voters in Ireland and America in particular? LISTEN LISTEN

I’ve mentioned a few times the thought processes that go into my “work wardrobe”; I want to feel like myself but appropriate. For me, this has meant diving from the [1960s professional lady] board. There’s a character archetype that the neat, softened-geometric shapes and clear colours that thick work-grade fabric evokes. When we (I) watch professionally-set stories set in the 60s, we (I) know that:

1. she’s smart
2. she’s good at her job
3. she can handle the people she encounters in the line of duty with grace and skill
4. she’s underestimated

It’s clear why these are aspirational traits, no? The last, in particular, is important, because I do not feel quite comfortable being an “office worker”. This is no slight to those who are - I simply am myself and not them!

Of course it’s no secret that Ms Joan Holloway is the bees knees right now, and it’s certainly true that she is costumed impeccably.

But who is responsible? Who chose the clothes that make the woman? I will tell you know, and you should read these names:

Tiger Curran: costume assistant / wardrobe intern (26 episodes, 2008-2009)

Allison Leach: assistant costume designer (18 episodes, 2007-2009)

Joanne Bradley: tailor (17 episodes, 2007-2008)

Tiffany White: costume production assistant / costumer / … (17 episodes, 2007-2008)

Michael Castellano: costumer (12 episodes, 2007-2008)

Bud Clark: costume supervisor (12 episodes, 2007)

Le Dawson: costume supervisor / costumer / … (9 episodes, 2007-2009)

Kristine N. Haag: costumer (9 episodes, 2008)

J.R. Hawbaker: costumer (7 episodes, 2008)

Kimberly Nickerson: costumer (6 episodes, 2007)

Lynn Ollie: costumer (6 episodes, 2007)

Hannah Jacobs: costume production assistant (5 episodes, 2008)

Thanks IMDB!

But Joan wasn’t the first! Of course she wasn’t. She’s a throwback, she’s created now. She may be a marvelous depiction of a lady of ‘63ish (I don’t actually know.. I can’t watch Mad Men, because I believe I would burst re: injustice, prejudice, social horror) but she’s a product of 2007.

So, who was really there?

I’ll tell you!

Wende Wagner played Lenore “Casey” Case in The Green Hornet, a show I happen to heart. Bruce Lee’s tv break, too. Am I looking forward to the movie? NO.

Casey was Brit Reid’s secretary. Brit Reid was the editor-owner of the Daily Sentinel, a newspaper. He was also by night the Green Hornet, a asked crimefighter who went about his vigilante business by pretending to be a worse criminal than anyone else. I love that. Casey was one of the three people who knew of Brit’s alternate identity, and she was often involved in his cases. There was no romance between them, and he respected her as a professional and a friend. Andrew Pallack is credited in IMDB as the men’s wardrobe master. I will check my dvds to see if there’s any info on the women’s costumier.

Eve Whitfield was costumed by Grady Hunt. She was an Officer on Ironside’s team, an integral member. She was kind of a hardass sometimes, actually. But look how she dressed! So good!

Photobucket wouldnt take the collage whole! I had to chop it, and I was in a bad, tired mood.. :/

The last, smallest wardrobe featured is that worn by Scott Bakula as Sam Beckett as Samantha “Sam” Stormer (yeah, it’s a maze of a show) in the episode “What Price Gloria?” of Quantum Leap. This was probably costumed by Jean-Pierre Dorleac, but Jacqueline Saint Anne also took charge of the wardrobe duties on “unknown episodes”. Produced in the eighties/early nineties, rather than the 60s proper, but OH that episode gives me the envies. Marvelous.

Thanks, costume designers and wardrobe departments. When you do your jobs, you make stories so much better.

Right now I am watching The Mummy Returns on the Hallmark channel. Which is serendipitous - I have been planning to write this post all week.

So: 2001’s The Mummy Returns, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. I really, really enjoy this movie! I didn’t see it in the cinema, but I’ve owned it long enough that my copy is on video. It’s just.. basically flawless*, as a movie to feel good whilst watching. It has:

• A married couple who are in love
• who have a child
• who isn’t annoying
• who is actually fun to watch! He’s spunky!
• The wardrobe is marvelous, all 1933s archaeologist-adventurer/stylish English lady wearing egyptian burnished-deco
• The supporting cast all have personalities and are not crippled by their quipping
• Emotions are engaged despite the action-movie set pieces, the cg monsters, etc
• Imhotep is one of my FAVOURITE VILLAINS EVER.

Let’s talk about Imhotep.

In this film - which is a sequel to the remake of the 1932 Karloff picture The Mummy - Imhotep is played by Arnold Vosloo, in place of Boris Karloff.

Part of the reason I like Arnold Vosloo is that I think he looks like G1 Megatron, and I both find that amusing and enjoy Megatron, so I start this situation with kindly feelings.

In this version of the history, Imhotep was (basically) advisor to the Pharaoh who fell in love, reciprocated love, with the Pharaoh’s woman. And from here-on in, SPOILERS. Be ye warned. Imhotep and Anc-su-namun are discovered together, and he is taken away to be executed whilst she kills herself, unwilling to stay the property of the Pharaoh. In the twenties Imhotep is raised - as per the curse he was buried under - and searches out Anck-su-namun, only to be foiled. In Returns he (guess what!) returns - raised by the reincarnation of Anck-su-namun, and they plan to gain the power of the Scorpion King and live it up like they never got to before.

Imhotep’s motivation is, basically, he misses his girlfriend and he’s cranky after being woken up from being murdered horribly (twice). I feel for him; I miss my [gentleman]friend and I too am cranky when I wake. Occult rivalries, too, bring out a worse side than my usual face. He has a minority of the movie’s kills. And his reaction to his final betrayal.. well, do you have a heart? You may find it squeezed for him, the poor mite.

Right??

As per last time: I owe this movie to Karloff’s movie. And he did make that movie; if you haven’t seen the Universal The Mummy it is available for free, legal download on archive.org. It wowed me, to be honest. I was so-so until the close-up on Karloff-Imhotep’s awakening. That, friends, is acting.

And I enjoyed, enormously, comparing the old Mummy with the new Mummys. These remakes.. in my opinion, they are respectful. The build on the story. There are a couple of references that really made me smile, but the story weaving is my favourite. Take 1932Mummy on one hand, and the 1999/2001Mummy(Returns) on the other. If you watch one hand, you will have a fine cinematic experience. If you watch the other, ditto. But if you watch both, you will have a better experience. They work together, they’re a dialogue. The way the nuances of the story and the characters change between the eras, the way the new ones are the old one re-worked rather than simply re-written. The Mummy vs The Mummy will give you some of this, but for the full joy Returns is a must. It is a rare breed of sequel. I think it is a fine tribute.

Once again, let us cheer! Thank you, Boris Karloff! Thank you very much!

Oh, and one more thing - Don’t bother with Tomb of the Dragon Emperor That movie can go.. fish.

*Bar the only-features-two-ladies (three if you count the “I am a gold-digger with my non-1933 cleavage” five-second cameo) catch, natch. :/

My mum decided she needed a video resource for her class - she teaches primary school - and that she wanted my aunt, who was visiting for a couple of days, to play the scientist in it. So I wrote this, and filmed it in a very small time! And then edited it at top speed, because she FORGOT COUGH COUGH to tell me when she needed it by! Also, I hate iMovie.

Very much.

Quite pleased with the script, and the logos, though. Despite the fact that I couldn’t find my tablet stylus and had to make the whole of both of them with the click-and-drag shape-makers and the lasso tool by way of my 5×2 touchpad. I cry!

If you are or know a teacher, you or they may feel free to use this at no cost. Please comment if you want a better quality one, I can do it in my lunch break or something! The lesson/homework was to investigate and compile a report on “an invention”, and the class topic is “keeping warm”, so - this combines the two. Happy watching! >_>

My beloved has just left, off on a bus-and-a-train, so I am feeling that melancholy that comes based on a marvelous powerful feeling of goodness that is a little time-displaced. To help, and to help anyone who has felt/is feeling the same, here is a song. It starts off good and fun, and then at the 0:50 mark it becomes heart-bursting and will quite possibly make you think of people running in front of a dark starry sky. If you have never watched Hokuto No Ken, I advise that you try it. If I think about it alone, it makes me want to bawl, but it is simultaneously one of the most stoic fictions I have experienced.

I cannot say enough about the style and character design. It’s an epic (I don’t say this lightly) arc-based animated Mad Max, basically, and typifies bikerpunk post-apocalyptica studded leather flamboyant brilliance. It also has some pretty great merchandise available.. as evidenced by STYLISH MAN!