My Illustrative Life

Yesterday my mum and my sister and I visited my Great Aunt, who lives a fair way away in (my ancestral) Coventry, and took her to Coombe Abbey. Coombe Abbey, if you haven’t been, is awesome.

I haven’t taken any pictures of one reason it was so awesome, because that is probably illegal - there were tons and tons of kids there. Loads. I know it’s half term and all, but it was a joy to see youngins running about yelling at ducks, enjoying forest pathways, climbing banks, shouting “I AM THE TALKING BUSH” and shaking branches from inside evergreens which branch from ground-level, walking dogs, and QUITE CLEARLY being on dates. Too cute. If you are ever thinking, “oh alas children do not like nature any more, only wii, how sad!”, you should go to Coombe Abbey (at half term).

It has buildings, and grounds (lots), and just about every type of country landscape you could ask for. There’s a pond at the front of (what I think is) the hotel that has a sort of aqueduct non-bridge pathway across it; on one side it’s nature free and wobbly and undergrowth, on the other it’s nurture - angular and groomed, statues in the water, box-shaped box hedges.

There are paths to follow in various directions, which managed to turn me completely around and take me by surprise. I thought I’d reached a new building, but it was the one we started at. Cunning! The whole place has a sense of mystery though, the way it’s lain out - there’s always something just visible through or past or behind what you’re looking at.

The grounds were really, really pretty. These don’t do them justice because I am not a good photographer (and the camera I was borrowing is kind of weird and colour-bleaching/non-focusable).

Coombe Abbey also contains the spookiest tree-bourne sculpture I have ever seen. The black dog in this picture was being called forcefully by its owners, but I was willing it to stay in the frame long enough for the darn picture to take..

Seriously, is that supposed to be.. what is that supposed to be??

What’s a day out without a fitting outfit? NOTHING, THAT is what!! In a moment of great serendipity, my super-fantastic dreamskirt from Modelle - via the NASTY GAL sale - arrived that morning..

I was sure I would be able to see my own foot through the trunk’s various holes if only I stretched far enough..

I couldn’t.

BONUS: Me totally failing to replicate the awesome height achieved by my first run-up, which my fool sister MISSED CURSE HER.

And with that, I’ll go back where I came from.

Has anyone else noticed that all the Valentines-themed window displays this year are red (with silver or black accoutrements)? Red to hot pink, at least. Where is all the marshmallowy pink, the fluffy powder colours, the teddy bears swearing eternal affection? Everwhere I looked, in town yesterday, there were red satin undergarments with the spindliest of garter belts (they won’t work, don’t you want your sexy to be practical too?), and shiny metallic balloons.

I did consider that it was a display of solidarity with China, any British-Chinese or visiting tourists, Chinese New Year falling today also. Red being an important related colour. But there wasn’t any gold involved, and besides - shop windows don’t tend to be that inclusive.

I hope you’re having a fine day, whatever you’re celebrating or whatever you aren’t. I do think it’s a shame when people are vitriolic against Saint Valentine’s Day, because being martyred because you refused to disallow soldiers to marry is pretty bloody admirable if you ask me. And technically, by visiting my blog, you did. Ha-HAH! I think it’s a day to celebrate, unless you prefer to make it a day for activism - St. V died for the cause of marriage for a portion of the population who higher-ups felt shouldn’t be allowed it. Who knows what his views on homosexuality would be, but luckily for us (and the whole point of this is that) he’s dead - so he can’t complain if we use his Day to say “Hey, Governments - Let Your People Marry”.

I was unconsciously mirroring the red red world, when I ventured out into it to search out records with my newly-drivers’-liscenced sister. My reds were deeper though, because straight-up primary colours make me look startled. And besides, I like the mystery of a slightly dirty hue.

I couldn’t physically be with my beloved for Valentine’s Day - actually, we’ve never been together on The Day (don’t worry! It’s never mattered, either) - and I’m not near any New Year celebrations as I thought I would be so I’m here typing.. Able to say that if you are feeling blue (and so quite out of place) then all you need to do is put on some dreamin’ gear and use that in-head laptop we call ‘imagination’ to fly you to where and with whom you really want to be. Look, I’ll show you:

Oh - and I beg your pardon, happy New Year to China, and anyone who celebrates!

Badly taken pictures, because I worry I will get robbed if I photograph on the street.

(To check my map; if you think I’m gonna indicate that I don’t know my way around in public, I laugh at you.)

More coming, if the Cathedral are cool with my sharing snaps from within. I couldn’t find a sign saying “don’t!”, but I don’t wanna assume.

Consequences Creed

Consequences Creed has great hair, especially for a professional wrestler. His body has an unusual chunkiness that looks dependable - I’m not worried for his health, or for the crowd of his opponent - and non-monstrous; he’s not scary thin or scary ‘roidy, he’s not super Hollywood-guy ripped but he looks like he is strong (especially in the thighs!). His costume doesn’t have too many elements to it, but it does have enough, and it makes me think of Wonder Woman a little. He doesn’t look nude like the guys who wrestle in pants, and the short shorts are sporty. I dislike watching matches where people are wearing those long spandexy leggings, because I think about them riding low in the crotch and feel sympathy irritation. The colours of his getup complement his skin tones. He springs about and is cheerful. This is a good wrestler image.

Awesome Kong

I am not impressed with the fact that Awesome Kong’s bodice didn’t fit her boobs properly when I was watching TNA semi-regularly. “Get her a tailor, management!” I shouted. But it looks like they did! I dog the Xena look, and I dig that she is FIERCE not a fuckdoll. She pulls great faces and tends to ignore the crowd, I think. She also has cool hair, and I like how she lets it fly about all over. I like her little wrestler boots! Her NAME is AWESOME. And she really, really does make good faces. Good wrestler image.

Sting

Gothy wrestlers (there are more than you’d think, unless you are a big ole wrestling fan) are some of the funniest things, in my opinion. But I like Sting! He is old, for one thing. Kind of. He has a neat gimmick (the lights go out. They come on.. AND THERE IS STING!!!!!!), and he reminds me of the Misfits I like Vampiro by default. I like that he paints his face, all spooooky and that he used to wear pink leggings with bleached hair. I very much enjoy that he had (has?) a major beef (or whatever wrasslin’ calls it, I forget) with Kurt Angle, who I find one of the most boring Entertainment Superstars around. Sting threatens to bite fingers off! He believes in respect, hence troubles with Angle. I dislike his coats, because great big muscular types need careful tailoring and better fabric and better, non-hideous stadium lighting to look purposeful in structured-flowing garments in my opinion. But I respect that he wears it! Good wrestler image!

Samoa Joe

I liked Samoa Joe because.. OK, I liked Samoa Joe because he had a slight rockabilly bent but mainly because his name had “Samoa” in and one of my favourite moments of Dog the Bounty Hunter is Tim yelling “MY WIFE IS SA-MOAN!“. But! Then I didn’t watch TNA (the only wrestling we get on our TV, which is good, because it is my favourite) for a while. When I came back, Joe had a sleeveless Hokuto leather jacket! And (I think?) different facial “tattoos”! And he went around doing peoples’ bidding, like he had been to the future and come back a badass brainwashed cyborg. Duh, obviously I like that. GOOD WRESTLER IMAGE.

Best of all: Booker T

He has a couple of namesakes to choose from. The musician, seen above, and the political leader Booker T (who you should read about). He wears pants, with massive great boots and sometimes T-shirts, which makes him look so nude that I am simply amused rather than squemish. His use of colour in his gear is skillful He also makes great faces, and pretty evidently has a sense of humour that I enjoy. He uses GOLD and CROWN MOTIFS in his ring-wear. He involves his wife! he wears his hair in a ‘princess ponytail’ sometimes, and his boots look like platforms half the time. I just froze the first video here on a frame that shows him jumping reeeally high, which I admire. He also also has massive thighs, which would alarm me in real life but just make me go wow, really?? when watching on teevee. And he just looks like a “nice man”, silly and subjective as that is.

My beloved adds, Booker T is cool about racism because he called Hulk Hogan NIGGA when he got carried away and then laughed and his wife patted his shoulder! She just pats him and stifles her mirth!

 
“A definite challenge there from Harlem Heat~”

Best wrestler image.

Aw, shit, wiki just told me he’s TNA No More. Shucks.

Why do I take this post to get all this opining (is this the correct word?) out? Partly out of frank enjoyment. Partly out of an inclination to let people know about stuff they might not know. And partly because I want to do my part, if possible, in making sure that we never, ever return to the days of..

“Wrestler hair”

That is exactly what “wrestler hair” looks like. Youtube, for example, Royal Rumble 1992. Or I could do it for you! Jake the Snake is a marginal offender, but watch for Sid.

He was NOT ALONE IN THIS.

Bad wrestler image

Picture credits here
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Sunday Sunday Sunday.

Well, I finally got to reading Tank Girl: Armadillo. I read it in bed, reading reading reading for a decent couple of hours like I always, always used to. Was it good? Should you buy it (or borrow, or.. loan it)? Let’s start at the start! And finish before the end (of the book), FYI; the second half is short stories and suchlike, and I haven’t read’em yet. You can do THAT for yourself.

There’re two prefaces, from the author, and I want you to read this little bit of one of them and understand why I didn’t read past it, in the common room lunch place at work, because of having “something in my eye”.

That’s kind. Kindness and fiction-appreciation are important. Honestly, I think this book is worth the purchase for that sentiment alone.

When I was reading I started out feeling uncomfortable, to be honest. You may be different and probably are but I really don’t find it easy to come in fresh to a story and start yellin’ WOOO, BLOW HIS HEAD OFF! I mentioned in the Jennifer’s Body SPOILERS how touchy I am about cannon fodder. I don’t need ameri-dubbing on my Dragonball to her “I think I see their parachutes!”, or whatever it was. I only catch six pokemon per game if I can manage it, for goodness sake, because shoving them inside a computer seems mean. I’m a big ole bleeding heart and hearing the idol of the novel say Okay, so we shot down a cop in cold blood. So fuckin’ what? makes me go “eeeeehhh” and squirm a bit. But what felt unusual is that the book (author/protag both) seems to acknowledge that. She say the italicised sentences in a page-chapter devoted to explaining how that’s not as muddy as it seems, how I shouldn’t judge her anyway, and how she doesn’t even care if I do. And not in such a deluded, self-convincing, distancing way as the way I put it makes it sound.

I still wasn’t completely cool with the thing of it, though. Which is why it was a relief when everybody revealed themselves to be such complete stinkers who were just as willing to solve problems with murder and carnage and pain as Tank Girl and her gang, only without being fun and kind and caring the rest of the time. In a world of shooting out brains before breakfast, motivation comes to be very meaningful. It’s an interesting authorial quirk, I think - the mixture of boisterous cartoonery and irredeemable-to-the-point-of-2d villains with the 3d motivation and realistic emotional resonance. Tank Girl really does, after a while, become a vessel for violent revenge/lesson fantasies. I don’t really feel ok thinking about feeding grenades to real world despicable people, or people who have crossed or simply annoyed me - it just feels counter-productive and even in my mental Holodeck I can’t ignore that people have.. well, whole people within themselves. But here? These people whose innards I can see are bad, bad, no-good people through and through. I have it on highest authority.

Tank Girl really was my armour, as I read this book.

It’s not just that though; Armadillo is a novel. It has a story. She and her peeps are making war on this one town full of heinous characters, who’ve ruined or messed with the lives of two (really three, I guess, but Sub Girl’s ex is never relevant as her ex) of the crew. It’s full of backstory, and re-weaving of now-story, and I think that makes it backstory for some of the previously published comics cos there’s no talk of any babies. I have no idea how Tank Girl canon works. I sort of don’t want to.

There’s also (I warned you in the post title here, SPOILERS) time travel. Which I enjoyed as a plot contrivance and a method to get extra emotional facts out there, but also because it was a very, very similar method to the one used in the film Somewhere in Time. I really dig that movie; Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour, gorgeous clothing, heart-wrenching plot. Excellent rainy day movie, and the leitmotif is a keeper. Tank Girl yammers on about a movie (and a particular song from it) she accidentally managed to see as a child which no-one else had heard of periodically, too, so I figure this is an extra relevant tangent.

Reading this book made me feel better about things. She’s not “the perfect person” and she’s not, of course, “real”. I’ve said before that reading T.G. comics make me want to dress like myself, not like her, and want to celebrate being myself, not like her. And that’s true, because you know when you read her that if you were to meet her, then she would either think you were rad or disgusting - and thinking that oneself is not rad is not the way to go about encouraging Tank Girls esteem. Plus, she speaks a lot of wisdom:

Buy it.

Wearing today addendum:

You may or may not know, my little (though actually bigger than me) sister is in a band. They do some of their own songs, and cover a bunch of songs in the Queen/The Who vein. I am very proud of her. But because of that, the fact that she can’t drive by herself yet, and the fact that her exams are over for now my family took a daytrip to the town where they’re playing tonight. Let’s explore Moreton in Marsh!

This first thing deserves a paragraph of its own - I walked around a tiny park, and the tiny park had no, I repeat no crisp packets outside of the bin. Say it with me: LET’S KEEP BRITAIN TIDY!

Moreton in Marsh is one of those confectionary towns. It’s “the gateway to the Cotswolds”; the main streets are just picturesque, all big blocks of sandstone, heavy doors (some giant, some tiny), great large windows on antique shops and gift shows and tea shops.

Speaking of tea shops. We ate lunch in The Marshmallow(where I got to read about four more pages of TG:Armadillo). I’d been pulling for Thai, but Dad pointed out that this Marshmallow had been honoured by UK Tea Council multiple times. And I do love a good cuppa. One of the Christmas presents I asked for - and received! Hurray! - was a subscription to the Twinings Tea of the Month club! I drank a pot of “Kenyan” (or.. was it “Kenya”?), because the menu described it as colourful. It was tasty, but it paled, actually, when lunch proper arrived. Cottage pie. Creamed mashed potato. Perfectly cooked vegetables. The end of my Mum’s beef casserole with cobbler. A fair bit of my sister’s portion of veg. A taste of my Dad’s liver and onions. I swear, I coulda kept going and going.

Would you like a loyalty card?
Dad says no. Of course. What do I say? Oh come on, you can guess.

I also enjoyed the wallpaper in the hotel the band’s (I did their logo!) playing at.

I felt just about right in what I was wearing, situationally (sweaterdresses + antiques = Just Right), but I think I’m gonna sew buttons around the inside of the hem and around the lower half of the neckline. I feel OK with a shorter skirt and a high neck, or a lower neckline and a longer skirt, but short and low (I know it’s not extreme. But it is for me! Especially with this long jacket warping perception) makes me feel a bit flashy. Dickies and faux-slips, from now on!

I took some video on the way home. The light was so beautiful, and the countryside really should be seen and appreciated! Good editing practice, too. Which reminds me! Can I get some volunteers to give me constructive criticism on a video? It would be really, really useful!

I’m still adding the new comments format! But I’ve figured out a way to keep them off the front page. Click the title, or normal “comment” button, and see!

A whole great BUNCH from the snowdays of Midlands, England..

(Underneath the above).. God save the Queen! I mean it, yeah. No really!

“‘Painter’ with cigarette holder”

“Business lady decided to put feet up and get sweaty instead”

“1930s slattern with money”

“And Face-of-Sticks said, if you do that again then Barth will EAT you.”

“Gone a bit He-Man, gone a bit Sorceress”

“I am lazy but I like my jacket”

Jacket close-up.. my mum thinks I’ve “ruined” the jacket, but I think it just looks excellent. Pulled a bit out of shape here.. Ignore that!

And that’s that, for this year so far.. I think!

Phew.

Hah. GET THE BEHIND ME, 2009!

Because today I’ve been learning, learning how to draw your steen-keen Doc-tar..

PLEASE NOTE I am drawing the character not the actor; I am not filled with hate towards these men and, should they be watching, they should not feel bad. Okay? Okay.

Learning! Yeah! It’s healthy!

I’m sorry David Tennant, Matt Smith, it’s not personal.

Call me, Panini!

Finished off my Christmas Shopping (in the COLD; two vests, a slip, bloomers, tights, a dress, full wool sweater, still shivered); got home to a fine spot of Ironside. It is SO well-directed, honestly! Those sets. That placing of actors within scenes! Keep checking my Tumblr, if you’re interested, I’ve a bunch of stills to add. And who should I see this time, looking out from the box? I said, “Bruce??”. And do you know, it was.

Just after he finished Green Hornet, I guess, ‘67. Doesn’t he look young? (And no, alas - it is said his character “teaches karate”, which is later replaced with aikido and judo without note. Sigh. Blame it on the characters?)

Anyway, here I am today.. With some snow.

Boots: Dr Martens, obv

Tights: H&M (”yellowish pink”)

Dress: Baby, the Stars Shine Bright (second-hand)

Jumper: Jaeger (gift)

Hat: RSPB’s Capercaillie Tartan

As a tot, listening to my parents’ Kate Bush tapes and LPs, I thought she was funny but I felt she was awe-inspiring. As a grown-up lady (hurhurr) I don’t think she’s funny anymore - except for when she’s sharing a wink with her audience - but I still feel she’s awesome, and I am really building an appreciation for her music.

In year twelve (I think? Maybe eleven?) English, our teacher (Hi! You were pretty great!) played us her Wuthering Heights as a comparison piece in class (we were studying the book, obviously). I hadn’t heard the song in years and was ready to lol, but found myself just thinking wow. It might have had something to do with having finally read the book (liked it a lot; the Brontes were so much more my kind of passionate than Austen) but I think it also had to do with, you know, ‘maturity’. Hark at me.

I watched one of those list shows a few months ago, quite soon after I got back from uni and was reveling in having a tv again; it was something about the most influential lady pop musicians. Ms Bush was one, and I really liked the way she went about her business, according to herself and those others interviewed. She is involved in decisions. I really really enjoy the way her songs are lyrical stories, some of them political and in a personal way, even. I LOVE that her first leading song was FANFICTION. That’s my type of person!

I’m working on a spook-flavour story of pictures today, and this is serving me well as soundtrack:

If she strikes you as wack, revisit every now and then. She’ll probably grow on you.

Not in a suffacatory way.

Oh, and also? When you can find this much awesome on the first half of the first google images page, you know the person has it.

Yeah! I’d wear ALL OF THAT.

After walking all day, a million miles around Manchester, and staving off trainsleep by reading the Invisibles (Apocalipstick) I start forgetting how to draw as myself. Immediately post-experience of a work of fiction or illustration that I honestly aspirationaly admire is about the worst time I could ever pick to draw anything. On the one hand, the desire to emulate. On the other, a complete and ornery desire to do nothing so humble. Result: mixed up creative (as in, I am creating, not I am being so creative) confusion.

Lunchbag:

I also read the following -

This book is wonderful. I can honestly say that since I started reading this series, via online free stories, previews and then this issue, I have found a blossoming re-appreciation for dogs (which the previous stories featured more largely). I was a Puppy in my Pocket fiend as a littl’un, but real live dogs alarm me and cats are just so much FUNNIER. But! Beasts of Burden (Dark Horse Comics, by Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson) is a reeducation.

The stories are great (truly spooky and touching), and the art, well, please observe:

Finally, Marvel Comics’ Models Inc.. Now, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book. I’ve been a Marvel fan near-on my whole life, thanks to the X-Men Animated Series of the 90s, but recently (or maybe I just didn’t notice before?) they’ve been basically flipping me off. Joe Quesada, Editor in Chief, has said that if people have a problem with the depiction of women in his company’s books, maybe they shouldn’t be reading those comics at all. I’m not going to get into the matter of costumes and sexist illustration in general. I’ve been put off by Event after Event after Event. The series that brought me back into buying Marvel Comics again after I quit on the cusp of house of M, Captain Britain & MI:13 (BUY THIS BOOK IT IS SO GOOD), was cancelled because it’s sales (in America, I believe), weren’t good enough.

They have been putting out the phonebook “Essential” trades (uh, that’s “compilation books”, for non-comics reading readers..) of a lot of seventies books that I love, though, and I was excited to hear that Mary-Jane Watson was going to be heading a mini-series.

Models Inc. was, when it was originally announced, going to be Mary Jane (famous for being the friend, then girlfriend, then Wife (no really fuck you, ‘phisto) of Peter Parker: Spider-Man) heading up an ensemble cast of the various “fashion model” characters Marvel has had over it’s decades. MJ has always been a model herself, branching into acting. A supermodel, in fact. They were going to team up to solve a crime. Detective story? Yes! All-female cast? Yes! Respect shown to models, a famously “female” profession? Yes!! I even saw the pencilwork for some pages, which looked like the artist had done real, true, actual research on the kinds of clothes that models might wear at public events. Yess.

of course, MJ’s involvement was nixed when the Powers That Be decided it was more important to have her character be puked all over in the Spider-Man main book. I have no happy faces here.

Anyway, the book was re-written and re-drawn and released, a four-issue mini series (with a tiny, tiny cameo by Mary Jane). I just picked up all of my copies last week, and it wasn’t actually bad at all. It had some issues, for sure, but on the whole? I’m not sorry I paid for it.

I’m working on a post showing the inside pages and a proper dissection of the plot/art/whole production because I think that this book deserves some recognition actually. But for now, here are the covers! I’m not gonna make more of a comment than “some of the ‘headlines’ are pretty funny, and check out the average cup-size they’ve given these supermodels”, except to warn you that the page art is not the same as the cover illustrations. Oh, and yes, Tim Gunn has a half-issue adventure in issue 1. Hah!

Being narrative and visuals-driven, I plot my clothing by fictional archetype. For work I’ve mentioned “60s professional lady” but for winter, and probably forever, it is Fairytale Murderess. It’s a little bit folksy and a little bit princessy, but grumpy and dark-toned and maybe slightly more practical.

Of course, today is also the 350 wardrobe challenge, and if there is one thing that a fairytale murderess wants to be, other than “not in jail”, it is warm. Don’t argue with me, I am in charge here.

So to stay temperate, over the normal underwear and under the outerwear goes this:

l-r: knitted shorts (Swimmer), slip (ebay), sweaterdress (NoaNoa)

Sweaterdresses make really good mid-layers when it’s on the freezing side of cold; layer them with each other or with more rigid dresses like this one. Or just underneath a jumper and a skirt, who’ll know?

I was extra prepared, today, as one must be sometimes - three hats, for the small fluctuations that breezes or electric lights can effect:

Fur vs no-fur, for the different moralities in one’s life:

And for when it got REALLY nippy, my Dad’s boarding school dressing gown. It’s fully wool, so it itches like a bassard if there aren’t enough layers below. THANKFULLY, in this case there were!

And for inner warmth, ginger wine. Non-alcoholic, because when something is delicious I like to be able to have as much of it as I like, but I do not like to fall down and be sick.

Overdress: Jane Marple

Stockings: Pretty Polly

Boots: Dr Martens

Gloves: gift, Accesorize

Fur: jumblesale leftovers

Wendy House: made by my Dad when I was knee high to a grasshopper.

One more for luck? Why not. I’ve had a king, some wolves, a witch, a plotter, some waifs and a shifter, why not have an off with her head?

Guys. Guys.

CHECK OUT MY JACKET, you guys!

I took my sister to check out Bath Uni yesterday and we had some hours to kill before our return train left, so: we shopped. Window, mostly, but then I saw this.

And then I saw the “33% off” tag. And then I went like this: *0*!!

Reader, I bought it.

I like this jacket because:

1. velvet!
2. it is a size up from the one I wear ‘correctly’ - so the shoulderpads actually go wider than my true shoulders!
3. the size-up thing also means there is extra liquid drape, which means that I as a “short hourglass” am not rectangulised
4. VELVET
5. it is a bit purple!
6. I have always wanted to try something double-breasted.

I also really enjoy the cropped sleeves (I am a dangler of long sleeves) and the fact that it’s faulty. For one thing, I feel it will/would look uh-may-zing patched. And for another, when I buy highstreet stuff new I do feel a bit “everyone else will have it too!”. The fact that I need to fix it means it will become definitively my own; without me, it would be a pile of rags. We help each other.

I’ve needed a jacket.. all my life, really. I usually (used to!) just go straight from coat to no-coat.

I bought these shoes for my uncle’s wedding, and then forgot to pack them when we went down to the south coast for it. Usually I keep them on the shelf, to look at. I am not a heels-wearer, but I can admire a pair of glitter platforms NO problem. Occasionally I take them out to wear whilst I watch something glam-themed.

I’ve mentioned a few times the thought processes that go into my “work wardrobe”; I want to feel like myself but appropriate. For me, this has meant diving from the [1960s professional lady] board. There’s a character archetype that the neat, softened-geometric shapes and clear colours that thick work-grade fabric evokes. When we (I) watch professionally-set stories set in the 60s, we (I) know that:

1. she’s smart
2. she’s good at her job
3. she can handle the people she encounters in the line of duty with grace and skill
4. she’s underestimated

It’s clear why these are aspirational traits, no? The last, in particular, is important, because I do not feel quite comfortable being an “office worker”. This is no slight to those who are - I simply am myself and not them!

Of course it’s no secret that Ms Joan Holloway is the bees knees right now, and it’s certainly true that she is costumed impeccably.

But who is responsible? Who chose the clothes that make the woman? I will tell you know, and you should read these names:

Tiger Curran: costume assistant / wardrobe intern (26 episodes, 2008-2009)

Allison Leach: assistant costume designer (18 episodes, 2007-2009)

Joanne Bradley: tailor (17 episodes, 2007-2008)

Tiffany White: costume production assistant / costumer / … (17 episodes, 2007-2008)

Michael Castellano: costumer (12 episodes, 2007-2008)

Bud Clark: costume supervisor (12 episodes, 2007)

Le Dawson: costume supervisor / costumer / … (9 episodes, 2007-2009)

Kristine N. Haag: costumer (9 episodes, 2008)

J.R. Hawbaker: costumer (7 episodes, 2008)

Kimberly Nickerson: costumer (6 episodes, 2007)

Lynn Ollie: costumer (6 episodes, 2007)

Hannah Jacobs: costume production assistant (5 episodes, 2008)

Thanks IMDB!

But Joan wasn’t the first! Of course she wasn’t. She’s a throwback, she’s created now. She may be a marvelous depiction of a lady of ‘63ish (I don’t actually know.. I can’t watch Mad Men, because I believe I would burst re: injustice, prejudice, social horror) but she’s a product of 2007.

So, who was really there?

I’ll tell you!

Wende Wagner played Lenore “Casey” Case in The Green Hornet, a show I happen to heart. Bruce Lee’s tv break, too. Am I looking forward to the movie? NO.

Casey was Brit Reid’s secretary. Brit Reid was the editor-owner of the Daily Sentinel, a newspaper. He was also by night the Green Hornet, a asked crimefighter who went about his vigilante business by pretending to be a worse criminal than anyone else. I love that. Casey was one of the three people who knew of Brit’s alternate identity, and she was often involved in his cases. There was no romance between them, and he respected her as a professional and a friend. Andrew Pallack is credited in IMDB as the men’s wardrobe master. I will check my dvds to see if there’s any info on the women’s costumier.

Eve Whitfield was costumed by Grady Hunt. She was an Officer on Ironside’s team, an integral member. She was kind of a hardass sometimes, actually. But look how she dressed! So good!

Photobucket wouldnt take the collage whole! I had to chop it, and I was in a bad, tired mood.. :/

The last, smallest wardrobe featured is that worn by Scott Bakula as Sam Beckett as Samantha “Sam” Stormer (yeah, it’s a maze of a show) in the episode “What Price Gloria?” of Quantum Leap. This was probably costumed by Jean-Pierre Dorleac, but Jacqueline Saint Anne also took charge of the wardrobe duties on “unknown episodes”. Produced in the eighties/early nineties, rather than the 60s proper, but OH that episode gives me the envies. Marvelous.

Thanks, costume designers and wardrobe departments. When you do your jobs, you make stories so much better.

I talked about house clothes, before. The ones I showed were mostly of the pyjama-y ilk; they were designed to be worn indoors, or under other clothes. This sweater was made to be “real” clothing, it was made to see the light of day. I think it was bought when so-called Geek Chic was big a few years back.

My sister gave me this jumper because it is 80% wool and it made her itch. I’ve had it in a draw for at least six months. I never wanted to wear it because, again: it isn’t me.

But I am wearing it now! Yes. So I must amend my judgement, I can tell you that it is me but it is only a small part of me. Most of my clothes are always-clothes, really, because I have a pretty good handle on what I “am like” and how I feel that translates visually.

This jumper is, specifically, a bra-less weekend jumper.

I’m not this kind of pale melange grey. I am not these synthetic coarse colours in knitted patterns, I’m not so-uncool-it’s-cool-again nerd-sweaters. I don’t like the way it sits on my torso or how it pulls up off my hips if I move a smidgen.

Except for, on bra-less weekends in winter.

When I have nowhere I need to go, and the weather is cold and damp, and I have typing to do and cooking to plan and it gets dark at four o’clock. When I have/had a confrontation to get past, when we have records playing in the room next door, when I showered at lunch time, when I want to feel like I am dressed but not like I need to represent myself or quite come out of gentle hibernation. At these times, this jumper is perfect because I don’t need to waste something that is “really me” on a day when I just feel like private rest. If I put on a bra, I would hate wearing this jumper. It would be all wrong - once the effort begins being made, choices start to matter. It would change the shape and change the image, and I would hate it.

This jumper is one that says to me “if I am forced, if I really need to, of course I can still be me and project myself through anything. If I have to (what if whatever happened to make Mad Max happen happened? What if: Zombie apocalypse whilst I’m away from my wardrobe? What if I’m kidnapped? & so on)”. It’s a statement of self-assurance to myself (and now, to you).

The trousers don’t go at all, but I love these trousers and I wanted the comfort of them. All those times I have read ladymagazines state “fashion isn’t about attracting men” / “women dress for other women” I hae thought “well yes, but that’s a bit of a simplification, isn’t it? “Fashion” is about dressing for yourself: telling you the story you want to hear. Other things too, but that. Everything just depends on how much you’ve thought about it, and what you’ve decided.

Context is Queen.