My Illustrative Life

International Women’s Day! I hope you all had a good one. I wore purple, and green, but no white. I don’t really own white, because it requires you to be so careful when wearing it.

Have you ever read anything about Suffragette Jewelry? It’s very interesting. In political movements, particularly in the push for rights that are denied due to what is perceived as basic inequalities in the people who have and do not have them, image is terribly important. It’s used as a weapon by both sides, of course, but the underdogs are generally cleverer about it, I think. They have to be - if you can intrigue, visually, you have your foot in the door of a person’s opinions.

I’ve got my mind on the Suffragettes at the moment because I’ve been doing some illustration for Sherin and Orchid’s Political Awareness gig’s fliers. The aim is to get people who aren’t that fussed about voting interested and maybe a little bothered - but first things first: my part’s about getting them (you?) to the event in question.

When I asked for a basic brief, they said they wanted a goat motif involved somehow. Gotta have a gimmick, as the movie said! And honestly, the loose guidelines mixed with the one specific (weird) bit of imagery is right up my artistic alley. When I think “votes!”, I think “for women!”, so this was the natural port of call at the head of my list (if you want to see more, and the images in a later stage of ‘finishedness’, keep your ear to this ground):

I figure, that a goat-headed person is unusual enough to catch the eye of an uninterested party.

I allow that it might be taken as an insult to female voters - that would suck. I took pains to depict a benevolent (but not weak!) goatface, and to keep her posture capable. I’d hope that the pagan / faux-satanic air of subversion would keep the image from appearing straight-up offensive.

But to be honest, people who don’t care about voting probably don’t care about showing respect for women who were prepared to die and endanger for the right. When was the last time you heard someone truly, honestly “sing in grateful chorus, Well done, sister suffragettes?”

If you are me, never. So I am singing it now, via blog via youtube via film via book. Well done, sister Suffragettes! Your movement wasn’t perfect, but whose is? You paved a great road for us, and we shall continue to alleviate the tolls.

If you think you might be interested in giving any sort of help to a London multi-band gig that wants to inspire the yoof of today to care about their ability to vote, send Sherin and Orchid a note. Every little helps! Your daughters’ daughters will adore you.

Consequences Creed

Consequences Creed has great hair, especially for a professional wrestler. His body has an unusual chunkiness that looks dependable - I’m not worried for his health, or for the crowd of his opponent - and non-monstrous; he’s not scary thin or scary ‘roidy, he’s not super Hollywood-guy ripped but he looks like he is strong (especially in the thighs!). His costume doesn’t have too many elements to it, but it does have enough, and it makes me think of Wonder Woman a little. He doesn’t look nude like the guys who wrestle in pants, and the short shorts are sporty. I dislike watching matches where people are wearing those long spandexy leggings, because I think about them riding low in the crotch and feel sympathy irritation. The colours of his getup complement his skin tones. He springs about and is cheerful. This is a good wrestler image.

Awesome Kong

I am not impressed with the fact that Awesome Kong’s bodice didn’t fit her boobs properly when I was watching TNA semi-regularly. “Get her a tailor, management!” I shouted. But it looks like they did! I dog the Xena look, and I dig that she is FIERCE not a fuckdoll. She pulls great faces and tends to ignore the crowd, I think. She also has cool hair, and I like how she lets it fly about all over. I like her little wrestler boots! Her NAME is AWESOME. And she really, really does make good faces. Good wrestler image.

Sting

Gothy wrestlers (there are more than you’d think, unless you are a big ole wrestling fan) are some of the funniest things, in my opinion. But I like Sting! He is old, for one thing. Kind of. He has a neat gimmick (the lights go out. They come on.. AND THERE IS STING!!!!!!), and he reminds me of the Misfits I like Vampiro by default. I like that he paints his face, all spooooky and that he used to wear pink leggings with bleached hair. I very much enjoy that he had (has?) a major beef (or whatever wrasslin’ calls it, I forget) with Kurt Angle, who I find one of the most boring Entertainment Superstars around. Sting threatens to bite fingers off! He believes in respect, hence troubles with Angle. I dislike his coats, because great big muscular types need careful tailoring and better fabric and better, non-hideous stadium lighting to look purposeful in structured-flowing garments in my opinion. But I respect that he wears it! Good wrestler image!

Samoa Joe

I liked Samoa Joe because.. OK, I liked Samoa Joe because he had a slight rockabilly bent but mainly because his name had “Samoa” in and one of my favourite moments of Dog the Bounty Hunter is Tim yelling “MY WIFE IS SA-MOAN!“. But! Then I didn’t watch TNA (the only wrestling we get on our TV, which is good, because it is my favourite) for a while. When I came back, Joe had a sleeveless Hokuto leather jacket! And (I think?) different facial “tattoos”! And he went around doing peoples’ bidding, like he had been to the future and come back a badass brainwashed cyborg. Duh, obviously I like that. GOOD WRESTLER IMAGE.

Best of all: Booker T

He has a couple of namesakes to choose from. The musician, seen above, and the political leader Booker T (who you should read about). He wears pants, with massive great boots and sometimes T-shirts, which makes him look so nude that I am simply amused rather than squemish. His use of colour in his gear is skillful He also makes great faces, and pretty evidently has a sense of humour that I enjoy. He uses GOLD and CROWN MOTIFS in his ring-wear. He involves his wife! he wears his hair in a ‘princess ponytail’ sometimes, and his boots look like platforms half the time. I just froze the first video here on a frame that shows him jumping reeeally high, which I admire. He also also has massive thighs, which would alarm me in real life but just make me go wow, really?? when watching on teevee. And he just looks like a “nice man”, silly and subjective as that is.

My beloved adds, Booker T is cool about racism because he called Hulk Hogan NIGGA when he got carried away and then laughed and his wife patted his shoulder! She just pats him and stifles her mirth!

 
“A definite challenge there from Harlem Heat~”

Best wrestler image.

Aw, shit, wiki just told me he’s TNA No More. Shucks.

Why do I take this post to get all this opining (is this the correct word?) out? Partly out of frank enjoyment. Partly out of an inclination to let people know about stuff they might not know. And partly because I want to do my part, if possible, in making sure that we never, ever return to the days of..

“Wrestler hair”

That is exactly what “wrestler hair” looks like. Youtube, for example, Royal Rumble 1992. Or I could do it for you! Jake the Snake is a marginal offender, but watch for Sid.

He was NOT ALONE IN THIS.

Bad wrestler image

Picture credits here
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I don’t actually know if there is/is going to be a softcover of this book.

Jennifer’s Body, first-off, was a horror movie out last year. Written by Diablo Cody, starring Megan Fox (jennifer) and Amanda Seyfried (Needy); about a pair of teenaged, highschool friends who give up pretending that they don’t feel like enemies once Megan’s character, titular Jennifer (and no, I’m not taking that pun out - it was accidental and I don’t feel like redacting it to avoid rubbish jokes), becomes some sort of demon. I hated it when I saw the posters, I resented it when I saw Megan Fox being used for sexyface yet again, I rolled my eyes and sneered at it when I heard the “HELL IS A TEENAGE GIRL!” tagline. But when I read the coverage it got on Jezebel - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 (’6 reasons to love Jennifer’s Body’)) I started to think it might actually be really fantastic.

I still haven’t watched it, though. I’m a rubbish cinema-goer (I still haven’t seen Where the Wild Things Are, for goodness’ sake!).

I was and am super-keen on the idea of a horror movie about teenage friendships full of resentment and stangancy (not a real word?), about how objectification and patriarchy turn people against themselves and each other, and a deeper examination of high school/teenage problems than “my parents don’t understand or listen to me” or gender-divided court hierarchy. Not that those things aren’t interesting and true and painful, but that isn’t all that sucks so hard about growing up. I was-am also super-keen on examination (& debunking) of sexism within horror movies. And how that comes from, reflects and focusses sexism and gender-based assumptions in ‘real life’.

But like I said, I haven’t seen the movie yet! So I should shut up about it, and talk about the comic which I HAVE read!

They were still shooting when I was writing so I haven’t seen the film but I got to read the screenplay. It was kinda crazy writing characters that were being changed on set and in the editing process. - Rick Spears, author of the compilation, to Atomic Comics

I mentioned that I bought my copy in a regular book shop rather than a specialist comic shop - this meant that I got the Cho-drawn cover:

Now, I twitter’d this before, but the fact that this comic came wrapped in cellophane makes me go HAH and then EWW.

When I started writing this today I decided I should check good ole wikipedia to see if it had any interesting facts I had missed. it didn’t, but it did provide me with this paragraph synopsis of the book:

The novel features less of Jennifer than the film, but does capture her “going in for the kill” several times. It focuses heavily on following her soon-to-be victims and provides information on their personalities not elaborated on in the film so that readers can better conclude whether the boys deserved to be murdered. The novel consists of four chapters, with a prologue and an epilogue, with art provided for each by different artists. Each one follows a different boy and what is happening in his life just before Jennifer kills him.

I’ll just day that “conclude whether the boys deserved to be murdered” is not what I did when I was reading. Why? Oh! That’s right! Teenage boys DON’T deserve to be murdered! You nutter, anonymous wiki editor.

I don’t actually think that that was what the author intended me to do either though - I got much more of an impression that this was a book written out of a funny sort of sensitivity. Boys don’t deserve to be murdered, but horror movies need victims.. but victims mean nothing if they weren’t people first. I leave the room when Luke’s rebel friends are being burst like fireworks as they’re all assaulting the Deathstar, because it’s sad. Phelous often mention that the films he reviews miss the mark because the characters who get skewered (or whatever) are so irritating or vapid that the viewer doesn’t care or is glad when they pop their clogs - the more a victim matters, the more of a reaction will be gleaned from their demise. Or from any trouble they meet, really.

Just like in Nation X there are four stories, and just like in Nation X the first one is the best.

Chapter One: JONAS follows a jock who vaguely wants to bone Jennifer despite his girlfriend’s presence, and who’s feeling the strain of staying the sports hero he’s always naturally been whilst living the life of sofa-riding and snack-scoffing that he’s also inclined towards. It’s drawn by Jim Mahfood, who is great.

Second-page in and Jonas is getting a Strickland-esque dressing down from the headteacher - Jonas is never going to go anywhere, his life’s peaked already, he’ll end up hating his whole life and his whole life caving in on him. Jonas shrugs it off, but he can’t.. quite.. ignore it..

He gives it a good try though.

Spears keeps adding little extra bits of pending doom onto Jonas - ones that are unrelated to Jennifer.

Then he figures out his girl isn’t quite all his, then classmates are lost to a mysterious fire, then Jonas can’t keep it all in any more when the school’s grief councillor schedules a visit.. Jonas knows his life’s not what he wants. He knows his story is supposed to be better than this. And then, beautiful powerful popular Jennifer appears, and Jonas knows she can make the right things happen.

Jennifer’s not so into making out or hooking up any more though, so she whacks his head off.

Jonas’s story is over, and Jennifer was really only the end of it.

Chapter two: COLIN is about a kid who wears a shirt with an anarchy symbol on it, who has been “in love” with Jennifer since childhood, and who cannot bring himself to buy music from a mainstream record shop in a mall.

He can’t even speak in front of Jennifer, even after they become lab partners (is this really such a romantic appointment as the movies suggest?). Until..

So he can talk to her, but when he decides to overcome the dismissals of his sub-culture peers and ask Jennifer out, DISASTER STRIKES.

Don’t worry! Jennifer isn’t going to let him get away so easily. Romance may blossom after all! In an building site. Nice, Jennifer. But Colin’s not so impressed.

Jennifer looks like she’s hoping for some naked time, and Colin’s thinking of backing out because he’s a kid with emotions, you know? I’m not making fun Colin, I think that’s nice.

Sorry, Colin. Jennifer wants your body.

Chapter three: Ahmet from India made me ask “What the fuck is this?”. Is this dialogue straight-up racist, or is it just me?

What’s up with the sentence construction?

Also, is circumcision that common? Really? Uncommon enough that a team of baseball players will taunt their new expert bowler off the team based upon his present foreskin?

Really??

I don’t know if there was a Bollywood scene in the movie, but either way its inclusion here makes me feel uncomfortable. Ahmet is at the club everyone goes to, a band plays, the music is SUPER AWESOME and Ahmet gets Bollywood vision, rainbows and bare-chest-waistcoat and all. Dance routine time.

???

I liked the character that came through from Ahmet. He seemed like a decent kid. It’s interesting to get a view of a character whose international schooling year goes terribly, what culture shock feels like, and it’s true that food from ‘back home’ can be immensely comforting to someone in a place that feels hostile. For example, I started eating courgettes having hated them previously because I was glum in my uni town, and our crop at home had just ripened. It’s good to be reminded how extremely unkindness can effect people - you really never know how much other stuff someone’s dealing with as well. I am just completely baffled by the way that this section is written. The art’s pretty good - it’s just not used entirely for good, I think!

I considered that the odd dialogue might have been an author’s technique to bring home how culturally out of place Ahmet is or seems to the other kids at school. But if it is it is SO badly applied.

This last couple of panels was smart though, I think; Ahmet starts his story by talking about grasping his own American Dream, and ends (doubly) by quoting an American film classic.. about his ‘foreign’ home.

The last story is Chip’s. Chip is the boyfriend in the movie, Needy’s boyfriend. He wants to have sex with her, a lot, she’s intimidated by her body (Chip’s words) and doesn’t want to do it much. He fantasises about Needy, and sometimes about Jennifer too. Eventually Jennifer kills him and it is sad. I thought this was the most straightforward of all the shorts, which is why I didn’t include any pictures.

The four short stories are bookended by Jennifer, at (I assume) the beginning of her rampage and at the end of the film. The caption boxes show her inner monologue.

Start:

End:

And they say it all, really - there’s zero insight into Jennifer in this book. No more than I got from the trailers, anyway, or the exchange between her and Needy:

Needy: You’re killing people!

Jennifer: No, I’m killing boys.

She knows boys want her, and partly because of that she disdains boys. She knows she’s hot, and partly because of that she disdains her body. This book was about the boys, and it causes me slight to middling pause that they went ahead and called it “Jennifer’s Body” on the cover.

Jennifer’s body wasn’t what killed them, and the stories show that. What killed them was Jennifer’s actions. What led up to Jennifer’s actions were the pressures upon her, and upon the boys. and their reactions to these pressures. Oh, and of course, what caused Jennifer to start “killing boys” was the demonic entity which possessed her, after she was murdered in a misogynist ’sacrifice to Satan”. Thanks wikipedia.

It’s true that each of the boys in these stories are sexually attracted to Jennifer and her body, but in no story does the kid in question simply want to fuck her. They think she’s ‘hot’, but they also want what she (with personality, standing, artifice) represents. Jonas wants the comfort and potential of a partnership with her. Colin wants to spend time with her doing things he likes that it turns out she might enjoy too. Ahmet wants someone to be his friend - a bond, maybe even someone he can share love with. Chip is the only one interested in Jennifer’s body, and even he rejects her because he doesn’t want her body. He just responds with boners to the sexual interaction that she flaunts as a possibility. Maybe all this is why they kept the title, I don’t know.

It’s all over pretty fast, anyway. I was left with that feeling oh “oh.. huh” that I also got from the Buffy season six/seven tie-in comics I read years ago. It does feel like a tie-in, I think is the problem, and I think the psychology of the various attractions to Jennifer (and her reactions to them) are set out a bit simplistically. Or maybe I mean straightforwardly? In Colin’s story, particularly, I felt like I was reading the bad sort of soap opera webcomic, where relationship dramas are settled by enormous speech bubbles of self-help book join-the-dots. This was a really bad comparison to draw, because I can;t link to a comic that I think does this sort of thing because that would be terribly rude. I think what I’m saying is that I felt that some of this book were too neatly drawn. And when I say ‘drawn’, I mean ‘written’.

Apart from the baffling aspects of Ahmet’s chapter, I think I recommend this book. It is, at the very least, an interesting artifact: the “but what about us?” response to a feminist slam of internalised misogyny’s effect on teenage sexuality. What about you, boys? You matter too, of course! And that’s why you should be on our side.

Oh, pee ess, the reason that I actually did turn out to write a review with no mention of the character design or wardrobe choices? Because it was apparently no-one’s priority here at all, and I barely noticed what anyone was wearing ever. Bah.

Sorry this got so long.

Ugh ugh ugh, sorry for the multiple edits! >_<

A thing that has yet to be publically “proven” yet remains a fact is that I am a lady. On account of this having always been the biological case and my having on the whole pretty average genes sans interesting mutations, I cannot grow a beard or any kickass sideburns. This makes me a little sad, but I have found ways to compensate. Also of course, it means I never have to shave, so I feel that the scales remain balanced.

Half the reason I love this Anthony Peto hat is that it flattens the earpuffs of my hair into sideburny face-clingers. As seen here, this allows me to spiritually bump fists with some of my favourite stylish fictional characters. Let’s give it up for Wolverine, The Cap’n and old Wooden Sword*! And Anthony Peto. ‘Preciate it, fella!

*Characters belong to Marvel, World Leaders Entertainment (I think? Publick and Hammer, anyway) and Hiroyuki Takei, NOT ME!

My laptop has died, I hope you are all mourning my absence. In the meanwhile, here is some sketchin’. New characters! And some tamagotchis!

Enjoy, muchachas.

After walking all day, a million miles around Manchester, and staving off trainsleep by reading the Invisibles (Apocalipstick) I start forgetting how to draw as myself. Immediately post-experience of a work of fiction or illustration that I honestly aspirationaly admire is about the worst time I could ever pick to draw anything. On the one hand, the desire to emulate. On the other, a complete and ornery desire to do nothing so humble. Result: mixed up creative (as in, I am creating, not I am being so creative) confusion.

Lunchbag:

I also read the following -

This book is wonderful. I can honestly say that since I started reading this series, via online free stories, previews and then this issue, I have found a blossoming re-appreciation for dogs (which the previous stories featured more largely). I was a Puppy in my Pocket fiend as a littl’un, but real live dogs alarm me and cats are just so much FUNNIER. But! Beasts of Burden (Dark Horse Comics, by Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson) is a reeducation.

The stories are great (truly spooky and touching), and the art, well, please observe:

Finally, Marvel Comics’ Models Inc.. Now, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book. I’ve been a Marvel fan near-on my whole life, thanks to the X-Men Animated Series of the 90s, but recently (or maybe I just didn’t notice before?) they’ve been basically flipping me off. Joe Quesada, Editor in Chief, has said that if people have a problem with the depiction of women in his company’s books, maybe they shouldn’t be reading those comics at all. I’m not going to get into the matter of costumes and sexist illustration in general. I’ve been put off by Event after Event after Event. The series that brought me back into buying Marvel Comics again after I quit on the cusp of house of M, Captain Britain & MI:13 (BUY THIS BOOK IT IS SO GOOD), was cancelled because it’s sales (in America, I believe), weren’t good enough.

They have been putting out the phonebook “Essential” trades (uh, that’s “compilation books”, for non-comics reading readers..) of a lot of seventies books that I love, though, and I was excited to hear that Mary-Jane Watson was going to be heading a mini-series.

Models Inc. was, when it was originally announced, going to be Mary Jane (famous for being the friend, then girlfriend, then Wife (no really fuck you, ‘phisto) of Peter Parker: Spider-Man) heading up an ensemble cast of the various “fashion model” characters Marvel has had over it’s decades. MJ has always been a model herself, branching into acting. A supermodel, in fact. They were going to team up to solve a crime. Detective story? Yes! All-female cast? Yes! Respect shown to models, a famously “female” profession? Yes!! I even saw the pencilwork for some pages, which looked like the artist had done real, true, actual research on the kinds of clothes that models might wear at public events. Yess.

of course, MJ’s involvement was nixed when the Powers That Be decided it was more important to have her character be puked all over in the Spider-Man main book. I have no happy faces here.

Anyway, the book was re-written and re-drawn and released, a four-issue mini series (with a tiny, tiny cameo by Mary Jane). I just picked up all of my copies last week, and it wasn’t actually bad at all. It had some issues, for sure, but on the whole? I’m not sorry I paid for it.

I’m working on a post showing the inside pages and a proper dissection of the plot/art/whole production because I think that this book deserves some recognition actually. But for now, here are the covers! I’m not gonna make more of a comment than “some of the ‘headlines’ are pretty funny, and check out the average cup-size they’ve given these supermodels”, except to warn you that the page art is not the same as the cover illustrations. Oh, and yes, Tim Gunn has a half-issue adventure in issue 1. Hah!

Actually, I haven’t. Bought real new clothes in real new shops, I mean. Today. I sort of have, but then I cheated.

Instead of going in real (by which I mean, original high-street retailers) shops and spending more money than I have on clothes that aren’t as exciting as I want (I looked, honest) I went to Cancer Research:

Skirt: Marc Jacobs

Sweaterdress: Noa Noa

I was looking for things that I’d feel reasonable wearing to work. That is, as well as at home; it actually didn’t occur to me to think of work clothes as separate from home clothes. And I mean, a) this is not official paid work but rather extended work experience (I’m making promotional and educational videos for the good people of the science/university nearby) and b) they have no dresscode, but I thank goodness that I’m not somewhere I have to be so smart that I feel like someone other than me whilst being appropriate.

Better haul than usual, I have to say. Charity: it benefits everyone.

These threads are the bees knees!

I gave in a couple of early sketches to a prospective client whilst I was in town. A place I call the naughty shop* want some themed work done for their sandwich board.. hopefully my ideas will spark favour.

*I’ve been in there about this illustration twice, and both times I’ve found my gaze resting often on the rainbow cock’n'balls lollypops.

This isn’t me being lazy and spewing out any old shite uncaring, just so I can say “I did it, I posted”.

I really do think that it’s super interesting that there is/when there is a difference between what people will wear in and out of the house. Do you have something you’d never wear outside? Or outside of a particular purpose?

If I go outside my own property (’my property’ included the communal areas of shared housing, though not the kitchen when I was in Halls at uni because we were ground-floor and there was no curtain), I put on ‘proper’ clothes. I don’t go out in pyjamas and there are some items that I own that are daytime clothes but not outdoor clothes.

This is partly because I feel it (a small one, but nevertheless) a duty: I have the time and ability to dress with a mind towards certain levels of old-fashioned etiquette and since I love to see people who look smart I feel it’s only right for me to make the effort. I honestly believe in the inspirational power of looking swish; I’ve been cheered up by snappy strangers enough times to want to do my best for anonymous depressives or bad-dayers. This isn’t to say I JUDGE YOU if you don’t feel the same, because I don’t. I don’t say it’s anyone else’s duty. But I can speak for me and it’s mine.

It’s also because I own some things that aren’t understood in the public consciousness (as far as I have percieved) to mean things that I want them to mean. My clothes are a dialogue to the universe at large, it’s true, so if I know the universe doesn’t speak my dialect there’s no reason I should confuse it.That’s not to say that I don’t want to ‘make changes’ - obviously I do - but puking everything out at once is not how to teach or pointedly affect.

Then there are some things that I just don’t want people to see in person: They may not be ‘underwear’ anymore, but the general public isn’t going to see the cotton of my bloomers, thanks.

^This is a mixture of inside and outside clothes (just because I’m inside doesn’t mean I can’t wear outside clothes, of course. That’s the joy of being in charge! I make my rules!). The DIY’d Dracula thermal is outside clothes but so comfortable that it’s a go-to for inside days, the thermal vest underneath is only going to be outside clothes if I’m part of an expedition to Atlantis/fighting the Axis/building and digging all day/a mechanic/still alive after an ‘apocalypse’.

The Le Coq Sportif jacket is inside clothes. This is an example of it doesn’t outright say what I want to say.. I don’t do sports, for one thing (I do exercise!). My mum bought it for me when I passed the Eleven Plus, I was so enamoured with it and she thought it was awful. I just couldn’t believe the COLOURS. I like bright things! And at the time, the brand impressed me. I’ve been wearing it recently because.. I don’t know, I just have. I can, and I wanted to, so I did.

I’m fed up with professional character designers being so boring with home-clothes scenes (I am looking at you, Marvel Comics).

I have always felt, in my heart, that I was a punk. Which is still true. But being a punk means that I get to do what I want, which means that I can also be glam. Which is lucky, because i am.

Running in platform shoes is why non-flat shoes were invented.

I saw Velvet Goldmine for the first time when I was about fourteen or fifteen, on the recommendation of some online friend/heroes and I cannot say it wasn’t influential. I love this music, I love this colour, the sequins and glitter and satin and velvet, layers flares and precision artifice, it’s all so intent but also-all-so winged.

It helps that the movie’s such a character piece. It’s costumed spectacularly because as a whole it is such a story. A whole, rather than a plot that is accented.

My very favourite thing about glam is that is ultimate opulence for about fifty pence. I’m sure a lot of the costumes could/did cost loads (especially then) but they don’t have to (especially now). I like the fan-wear as much as the star-wear; all those kids in their trailing corduroy and stretched out graphic t-shirts and raggedy boas and textured jackets. Any old scarf tied interestingly. Lipgloss off of magazines!

I want a wide-striped tailored three-piece suit so badly. Flared trousers, wide collar, nipped waist.

I just spent three hours or so reading the archives of a webcomic, which I haven’t done in years. This one is the best one I’ve funneled a fair part of a day into though.

Click it to visit.

I heard about it when it debuted and I didn’t visit, because I thought to myself “oh, Warren Ellis, it will just be people being mean to each other and most of them people I dislike”. I don’t actually remember how I got to it today.. Oh yes I do, I was looking for the site to “save John Ostrander’s sight” because working in a visual medium and going blind is a horror story. And America is mad for not having an NHS. But that’s a post for another site.

But anyway, I read it, and it’s actually really really good. I read a book about a post-apoc flooded England/Scotland before, it was good too. That’s not exactly related but flooded versions of places that exist now just somehow really work as nifty backdrops. And I’m a sucker for a ‘dystopic’ future where there’s a goodly amount of people who try really hard to make things better anyway. That’s just my brain.

The story, to do it a professional critic-style disservice, is like the Tribe in London if the kids were magic and slightly less hilarious (and older). It’s a little steampunk I guess - they have things that run on steam - but it’s not neo-victorian, beyond their basic need for a scrappy patchwork Industrial Revolution.

They say the word ‘bum’ quite a lot. That makes me happy and it makes me accept the fiction as one of my own (as in, one I care about rather than being marginally interested in. For love not science!), because I never hear anyone else say bum anymore.

The art’s pretty gorgeous. Sometimes I think that he draws their eyes a bit large, but eyes are important sort of so I can’t complain. And that’s a small complaint besides!

It does bug me that no-one wears a bra. Boobs hurt if you don’t wear a bra and swing about all day working on machinery or skipping or running or such. It bugs me a bit that there are no fat people to be seen. There is effortless ethnic diversity! And everybody has a good haircut, in a believable semi-crapsack world way. Plus, and this is a biggie (oh darn that’s not a joke): a) they showed cock* (flopping) and b) they showed cock before they even showed female nipple.

*I do not say this because it gets me thinking sexy thoughts. I say this because penises are treated, most often, as sacred rocks of filthy awesomeness by visual media. Even the hint that a phallus might be there, under those shorts, is RUDE RUDE RUDE.. hence the smallenising of Superman’s bulge in that last movie he had. Tits fly about all over the place, the tiniest piece of floss is reasonable covering for ladyparts, but the penis is The Penis.

Do people forget that as well as being the bone-machine, they pee from there too? It’s sexual but it’s not ALWAYS sexual. Or if it is, it’s not so unholy-potent that it has to be hidden from our eyes lest we all shrivel under its cyclopean glare. Video game artists in particular make me want to draw wangs and bollocks all over the place with their treatment of the ‘difference’ between male and female (primary/secondary)genitalia.